avery

my baby started middle school. my baby. the baby i was so terrified of bringing into this world. the baby that made me cry tears. the baby that made me an unwed mom. the baby that some friends suggested i abort. the baby that i got so sick from. the baby that i was so afraid to tell my dad about. the baby that changed. the baby that changed me.

she walked into middle school. walked into the can't get your locker open. walked into the taller than most of the kids. walked into forgetting to your gym uniform . walked into the petty girl gossip. walked into not having any friends. walked into tripping in the hallway. walked into teasing. walked into her first dance. and she walked.

except my baby walked proud. proud with her purple shoes. proud with her new backpack. proud with her packed lunch. proud of her cross around her neck.

my baby isn't a baby anymore. she has changed and grown into a purple shoe wearing girl who loves Jesus. my baby has changed.

changed me.

i had a hard time today. we were school shopping. and not the usual. not the whining and complaining. not the wandering. not the its not cool school shopping. but the it went really smooth school shopping.

to many moms this would seem like a dream. they would savor even five minutes of what i had today. to not have any fighting or arguing. to have a day where they said thank you all of the time. that is the day i had. but it was hard.

as we were coming home my eight year old asked. asked if she could send clothes to africa. so that they could have new school clothes too. and this was hard. hard because so many kids in africa can't even go to school. much less think about new clothes.

and then i thought. and then i felt sick. sick about the amount of money we spend each year on going back to school. going back to fit in. going back to be the smartest. going back to being popular. going back to be in the advanced classes.

sick at the thought of how many pairs of shoes each of our kids have. sick at the thought of how many shirts and pants. sick at how many coats and hats. and that is just for one season.

and then i thought what are we teaching our kids. what are we teaching ourselves. when is it going to be enough. when is it enough.

when and how do we teach our kids to live simply. and to know the difference between need and want. when.

when do we teach them that they don't need new school clothes. they need education. they need love. they need food. they need family. they need Jesus. that is it.

http://www.bloodwatermission.com/backtoschool/